Effective Communication from cradle to grave?

We cry as soon as we take our first breath and thus begins our attempt at communication.

It may not be verbal but it sure as Hell is vocal. We are not happy! We are cold, we are covered with goo and we want the big, bright scary place we’ve been thrust into to fully understand that something needs to be done! NOW!

Non verbal communication makes up, according to some studies, 55% of our person-to-person communications. The tone of our words adds 38% and the actual words that most of us spend an ornate amount of time crafting end up in last place with an anemic 7%.

The most important part of effective communication is therefor not what you say but how you say it and with what mannerisms. With 93% of our coded signals being the actual message we need to align this with our words so that we improve as effective communicators and don’t send mixed signals.

As the adage says ‘actions speak louder than words’.

Trainers and coaches use the mnemonic ‘SOLER‘ (Squarely, Open, Lean, Eyes, Relax) to remind people the basics. Keep these in mind at your next meeting, your next date, business presentation or family dinner with crazy Aunt Mildred who continually asks if you are listening.

• S: Face the person Squarely. Turning too much indicates that you’d rather be somewhere else.
• O: Maintain an Open Posture. Do not cross your arms or legs as this indicates you want to keep the other person at a distance. If you must cross your legs do so at the ankles.
• L: To show interest and attention Lean towards the person who is speaking. Not too far or it could be taken as intimidating or aggressive.
• E: Our Eyes deliver the most so maintain an easy balance of eye contact with the person. Don’t stare as this can be taken as dominant behaviour. Don’t look away for long periods and don’t look at your watch as these both indicate you’d rather be somewhere else or don’t have the time to listen.
• R: Fidgeting makes it look like you are disinterested or impatient to get away so maintain a Relaxed attitude with a  comfortable posture which conveys confidence and interest.

With these in mind hopefully you’ll project as well as attract stronger and more beneficial realationships at all levels; Even with crazy Aunt Mildred and her 37 cats.